Blinking Lemon

After a few days of suspicious regard and uncertainty, my nephew decided tonight that I had earned a spot sitting next to him, to watch night night videos.  I certainly deserved the earlier rejection;  after all, who the hell am I, coming from goodness knows where and pointing that machine in his face all the time?  However, I did nothing really spectacular to achieve this rare-as-hens-teeth honor. If I had known chasing him into the kitchen with my orange phone because it matched his shirt would get me on the A-list, I would have done it 5 days ago.

After enduring a few minutes of good behavior sitting next to me, some squirming ensued.  Nephew was bored, and frankly, so was I.  Nephew tested the waters, poking me half heartedly with his feet, the universal sign for “please tickle me and see if we can upset my parents.”  So, of course, I did what I had to do.

Pretty soon, he was pounding his admittedly adorable feet on some pretty tender areas of me, above the waist.  I needed to put a stop to it. Without warning, I found myself possessed by a power previously unknown to me - The Slow Motion Monster!  C R A W L  I N G  S L O O O W L Y toward my nephew, I knew we were both in trouble.  Going to bed is serious business; much depends on getting enough sleep.  Giggling that escalates to active playing is counterproductive when unconciousness is what you are supposed to be producing.

Still, I kept going, ever so slowly, repeating “O O O O O H H H H N N N N N O O O O O!” in a suitably altered voice.  If my sister had a naughty chair big enough for me, I’m sure I would have been in it.  But the spirit of the Slow Motion Monster could not be stopped.  For a few heavenly moments, my reality had crashed open, and filled with a power beyond my own will - the power of play.  Resistance is impossible, where surrender is all there is.

I know I betrayed the adults, and I guess I betrayed my nephew, because the Slow Motion Monster is, frankly, no match for bedtime.  I couldn’t save him from the inevitable end of sweet dreams and sticker fairy rewards.  So selfish, I am, and I would do it again for anybody who loves me enough to pester me with their tiny, delicious feet.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 at 3:08 am and is filed under Book Scrounging.